We are here!

Well, we are here in Amarillo :) what should have been a 2 1/2 day trip was a 5 day adventure. Broken down trailer, reloaded twice, snow and sleet, new friends made along the way, and lots of laughs.

Learned many lessons along the way, most importantly that the body of Christ is real and very much alive. The kindness of people I've never even met before was such a blessing to my heart.

Today we get the keys to our new home! We are excited to unpack and get settled. And wash our mountain of laundry! ;)

I will update soon, we are so appreciative of the kind words and prayers. We love you big!

As Bob Goff said, "this year we will show people what we really believe, and we won't even have to open our mouths." How true.

Wishing you a happy 2013!

Change and Transition

"Change is the announcement of something... - transition is walking it out."

The past two weeks have been a bit of a blur for me.  Praying, painting, sorting, cleaning, praying, packing, making trips to goodwill, crying, praying, decluttering.  You never really know how much "stuff" you have until you prepare for a move.  What we need vs. just stuff sitting around.  

The house is officially on the market!  Today the papers were signed. We are praying for a quick sale- we trust that no matter what happens, His will be done. 

We will begin to pack the trailer on December 18, and will begin our trip to Texas the day after Christmas.  Our last day at Crossroads will be Sunday, Dec. 23.

Please keep us in your prayers...some have asked what they can do, and this is the greatest need right now.  Prayers for Crossroads and all those connected, for us to all trust His plan and purposes. Prayers for comfort and peace for us and our children, and for us to stay in the center of His will.  

We so appreciate the encouragement!  God has placed so many anazing people in our paths.  We could not keep our feet going at this rate without you or your kindness.  Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.

God put this in my heart the other morning - "Just believe: immediately and continually. I will do the rest!"  This has been such a blessing to me.  Hope that it is for you too :)


-Christa <3

Texas - Our new assignment

"I feel the strings that can’t ever be cut, of the Body that’s bound together by these grace veins pulsing with the one blood of the One Who let His and we are bound because we are free." 

-Ann Voskamp

Today marks the announcement of a new season in our lives.  We have heard the call of the Lord, and we will begin the transition of moving to Amarillo, Texas to pastor a church.

For those that know us, this may be a shock.  We have lived in the same area (Kevin moved from Louisiana at a very young age) and have served in the same church building for our entire Christian lives.  Virginia is all we know, all our children know.

But about 7 months ago, something began to stir within us.   We were serving and tending the flock, as Moses, and we turned aside because we saw a burning bush.  Through a great deal of prayer and discernment, the decision has been made.

We have had relationship with Gary & Carolyn Burd for about 5 years, and knew there was a deep connection at the first meeting.  But we never dreamed the the Lord had plans to tie us together so closely.

At the end of the year, we will move across the country, and begin our new adventure.  We will pastor a church called "Oakdale Grace", and are believing for revival and awakening in Amarillo.  We will pour our lives out, as we have done for the past 5 years in Petersburg.  We will follow hard after the Father's heart, stopping for the one, and loving the forgotten.  We will afflict the comfortable, as the Father has called us to.  And we will do so with the heart to please our Daddy, to show His love.

This is a bittersweet time;  we love those who God has placed around us, and have poured our blood, sweat and tears into the assignment He has given.  We believe that we have done all that He has asked of us, given all we can give, and we will finish well.  We are ever grateful for our time here, we have learned so much.  God has used all of these experiences to not only shape and mold us, but to bring healing as well.

We trust the Father - His plans are always good.  He is not finished with Crossroads, and will continue to use it as an instrument of His glory.  Greater things are yet to come!

If you should have any questions, you may contact us through email at pastorkmcbride@aol.com or mcbride1024@aol.com.  We would appreciate you prayers!

We love you and are believing for great things!

-For the least of these,
          Kevin & Christa <3 

Hold your heads high

"..I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high." 

Leviticus 26:13

Happy November!

It is November 8th, and 2 days ago our country elected a new Leader.  Many got out and voted, some for the first time, and were proud to exercise their right to do so.  Of course there are always those that don't vote, but still cast their opinions to all those who will listen.  (Pet peeve!)  

Some made their choice based off of others, based off of race, or money.  Everyone had their reason.

Lines were wrapped around buildings, some waited for hours to cast their vote.  I personally waited an hour and a half with three children in tow.

People waited to hear the results, many on the edge of their seats. And then the verdict came in, late that night.  Some were cheering, some weeping.

Hate began to rise and run rampant.  Children spouting it off, obviously repeating things they were told by their parents and those close to them.  Racism and stupidity and ignorance poured out of people, things many have fought so hard to kill.  Facebook and Twitter was overrun with fear and doubt, arguements and disputes.

So many of us, Christians too, had become guilty of putting our hope into a man.  And when he didn't win the presidency, there were those who began a gloom and doom ministry. ;)  Some of those whose candidate won, were prideful and arrogant, rubbing it in the faces of the others.

Did I hope someone would run our country that had a heart for the unborn?  For marriage and morals and ethics?  Of course.  But I did not have peace about this election, or those running.  It never felt right to me, neither party represented our Father fully.

I say this with a heavy heart - Man cannot save us, or our beloved country.  Man has plans - God has purpose.  Man has intentions and conditions - God has hope and a future.  Man has ideas - God gives creativity and true love.

Though the leaders can change, God remains, and we must remind ourselves that we are NOT of this world, if we have chosen to follow Jesus.  The mission is the same - to LOVE with His heart, and share Him with the world until He returns.  Judging and pointing and condemning those He came to save will not accomplish the mission He has given.

Love is needed more than ever before.  We pray for His mercy and grace - we pray for forgiveness that we have not acted and prayed and shared the gospel as we should have.  We repent for our sins and those of our nation.  But love LOOKS like something - and we must show the world exactly what that is.  Humility and forgiveness and ridiculous grace.

How else will they know?  How will they know that He is GOOD and His mercy endures forever?  We must pick up our cross and carry the weight He has asked.

We must DO what He's called us to, stop making excuses and reasons we are afraid and why we can't do it NOW, and stop putting it off.

He has graced you and me for what He's asked us to do.  We just have to trust Him.

He is in control. He has purpose.  And He set us free so we can be confident that He can use us to do that for others.

His ways are not our ways, but we must trust them.

<3 christa

Trust

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

I love my kids.  The process from which they came into this life, carrying them in my belly for 9 months, Kj for 8 :)  (I guess he was just excited to get here)  

The late nights and worries, the first words and steps and falls and teeth and hurts.  

Spending your last dollar, going the extra mile, pushing through when you are ridiculously tired and want nothing more than to lay your head on your pillow.  

Cleaning booboos, calming fears, and wiping away tears from a bad dream.

Last night, I took one to a sleepover, one to a football game, and one on a date with mama.  Trusting that the parents are okay, the home is safe...trusting that my teenager had the ability to make good decisions and not follow the crowd.  

While running all of these directions, my heart was oh so heavy.  I don't like letting go.  I just want to be a mother hen, and gather all my chicks, keeping them just under my wings where I am sure that they are safe.

But if they are under my wings, they aren't able to spread theirs.  Their wings will become useless, and when the day comes that they need to step out they won't know how.  Lord, help me to let go.  I just want to protect, and nurture, and cuddle them.  Every news channel strikes fear into a mother's heart, and makes me wanna pull them close.  

But God has great plans for these little ones, and He trusted me just enough to be their mom.  He gave me a little time with them, to share with them all I know about Him and about life.  And for that I am so thankful.  

So I will try a little harder, and trust a little more.  Because as much as I love them, He loves them all the more.  

"Family is a field to grow in, where children grow up and parents grow patient." 

:) christa

Be you, bravely

He takes me as I am…just as I am…And He takes you just as you are! You are enough.

There are things I have always wanted to do.  But I put them off...I will do them later, when my kids get bigger, when I get out of this mess, when I feel better about myself, when i am older…on and on and on.

He doesn’t want me to wait until I’m ” there”.  Until I’ve arrived!  He's given us all potential. HIS potential. Ahhh... this truth should make us begin today right?

I have begun to share my life more freely. It’s nothing like the movies mind you. BUT I am starting to open up my heart.  I am doing one little thing toward one thing that I’ve always wanted to do.  And you know what? It feels pretty darn good.  And do you know what else? I’ve stopped listening so much to the LIES. This is a choice!  Choosing what we believe is quite powerful.

What about you? 
Is there just one thing you can do starting today to take one step toward making it become a reality tomorrow?  Saying goodbye to fear and worry. 

It feels so good. So free. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus :)

<3 christa

Me

Me.

32 years on this earth.

Heart broken...scarred but mended by a tender
and compassionate Healer

Taught how to love by a precious man who was lost too...
but now we're found and shining our light
for all to see

Mother of three world changers who are free
free from our dysfunctional patterns...
because they ENDED with me

Daughter of a mighty woman...
made of the strongest material
broken yet beautiful <3

And of a man who gave in to temptation
but let me know I was the apple of his eye
I know now that he loved me the best he knew how

But MOST OF ALL...
Daughter of the most HIGH God
faithful and true Papa
promise keeper and head lifter

Learning to trust that His ways are higher
and His path is sure

Letting go of perfection and accepting
my story - within His story
my adventure <3


christa <3

Don't wanna miss a thing

I have come to the realization that I have not yet arrived.  As a matter of fact, I am no where near where I want to be.  I am growing every day, and I am not where I used to be.  But I still have much to do.

I am on a lifelong mission to learn how to love.  Really love, not just in word, not just in deed.  But deeply love, the way Jesus has loved me, and the way He loves us.  Love like that.  I wanna know what that looks like.

I am learning to love my family, my husband and my children.  And as wonderful as that is, as fun as it is for me to leave them little notes, pack their lunches with sweet treats, seek out moments to make them smile and laugh, and creative ways to let them know they're loved, that is good, but it is not enough.  

If I love those who love me back, what have I done?  What reward is there?   Yes it is sweet, and a great blessing, but I believe there is more of a love requirement from Christians.

To love those who cannot, or will not, love me back, some at first, some not ever.  That is something I want to learn.  The ones that spit in my face, talk behind my back, and do not understand what love is.  I want to love those people.  I want to be able to give and get nothing back.

Aren't these the ones who really need love the most? May everything we do be out of love, love for Jesus and love for people.


If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Cor. 13:1-3

<3 christa

I don't like "Church".

There.  I said it.  I don't like "Church."

I don't like the system.  I don't like the traditional, religious rituals.  I don't like the people that only come because they are looking for something to please theirselves with. The pasted smiles, the generic talk.  The relationships that are only so deep, only deep enough to scratch the surface.  Until they find the next best thing, or until they find a fault or two, then they move on.

Hear my heart - I know that Christ died for the "Church", the people.  I'm talking about the man-made system that is the "Church".  The rules, the ways... our ways that can honestly be so far from His heart.

Without Him, without His heart, it's all pointless.  It means nothing.  Without being in love with JESUS, why even turn up there?  Why even come?  Why minister, why go to meetings?

Oh, but WITH Him.  With Him it all makes sense.  With Him there is no mountain too high, nothing I would not do.

Let us not do anything unless we are in love with Him.  May we be obedient to what He has said - to love one another with a fervent love.

Because lets be honest, it's dead works if it's not done in the right heart.

<3 Christa

Breathe Deep

in an endless cycle of grace, He gives us gifts to serve the world. - Ann Voskamp


I believe that is imperitive in our lives to give to others.  Whether we give our time, our attention, our money, our love;  whatever it is, we must give.  But I also believe it is equally important to reflect.  To sit back and look at our life, where we are and where we are going.  What God has done in us and through us, all around us.  To give thanks and to mark in our hearts the great things He has done.  

The church Kevin and I pastor is a fast moving little thing. :)  I have heard it said from those who attend, that if you miss a week or two, you are left feeling out of sorts, because it moves at such a fast pace.  God has given us vision for our community and for our city, and we do everything we can to fulfill our mission.  We have been covered by His great love, and as the Word tells us, "they who have been forgiven much, love much."  We have no choice but to serve our King, and that translates into taking each opportunity He sends our way to show His heart to others.

Serving in "full time ministry", as it is called, (which all christians should, in my humble opinion, as everything we say and do is ministry) is draining at times.   It is mostly one-sided relationships, with people needing and asking and pulling from you. I must constantly remind myself that if we are connected to Jesus, we never can run dry, because He is never empty;  because He died there is always enough.  But in my fleshly body, I sure can get tired.  Though my spirit is full and content, the kids still whine and argue, the bills still need to be paid, the emails and calls come nonstop, and the refrigerator still must be stocked.  

So I rest in Him today.  I thank Him for His neverending grace.  I thank Him for showing me great and beautiful things that only He can do.  I thank Him for giving me the chance to see through His eyes.  

And I breathe in deep, His grace, that covers and lifts me up and fills every nook and cranny.  Because there is always enough.

<3 Christa

I got some questions...

One of the struggles in this life is the battle within ourselves, the optimist versus the pessismist.  We all have this multiple personality.  The worrier tries to take over from time to time, and choke out the part of us that wants to see the glass as half full, not half empty.  Questions begin to take over our minds in times like these.

Why am I here?  What is going on?  How is this going to happen?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to?  Will this struggle ever leave me?
Do I please Your heart?

I have discovered that when we have a mountaintop experience in our lives, a valley is usually right behind it.  I know this, but sometimes it still takes me off guard.  There I am, on my knees in the valley, and wondering how it happened so quickly, that I was just on the top and here I am again.

God allows these times in our lives, I believe, to shape and mold us. To cut away the things that are dead weight. The things that otherwise, if everything was sparkles and rainbows, we wouldn't see because we wouldn't hit our knees for long enough to see them.  And to see if we've grown from the last time.  To give us perspective.

I don't believe it's wrong to ask God questions.  But I do think it's wrong to doubt Him.  He knows my heart, and knows me deep down.  But I cannot doubt His heart for me, or that He has the best in mind for me.  And I trust Him.  And after my questions, I can rest and be in His love.

These are times when we see ourselves in a mirror, and have a reality check.  Oh, this can hurt, but it can be wonderful at the same time.  We see where we truly stand.  And if we really seek His heart, we will see it.  And will have the courage to keep pressing on.


For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:12-13

<3 Christa

Vacation

I thought I posted this last week...oops. :)


Vacation....such a sweet word!!  It ranks up there with "chocolate", "cake", "pie", wait, those are all foods. LOL

Our family just returned from our yearly trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  And it was wonderful!

The kids played for hours in the ocean and sand, we were all kissed by the sun and ocean breeze, and we ate lots of food. Sat around and laughed together, put together a 1000 piece puzzle, stayed up late and watched fireworks.  Sweet times.

I share this to say, love the ones God has trusted you with.  Not just live with them, but LOVE them.  They are so precious, and though they may be just a tad annoying at times, one day they won't be little. One day they won't ask you to help tie their shoes.  One day they won't ask you to unclog the toilet. ;)  One day they won't ask you to make them a waffle, or get their splinter out.  One day they won't need you that way.

Oh, and take a vacation!! Even a small one. You deserve it :)


With a thankful heart,
Christa <3

A happy heart makes the face cheerful

What makes a happy heart?

A nice car?  A full checking account?  Well behaved kids?  Well, these things are nice. And they would relieve a bit of stress, sure. :)  But a "happy" heart goes much deeper than this.

Lately I have been dealing with my "feelings."  Everybody has them, and many of us blame others for them.  But they are "our" feelings, no one elses.

Sometimes things happen and people will hurt our feelings. Not intentionally, not on purpose, not meaning to, whatever.  But it happens.  And we are left with our feelings.  We are responsible to deal with them.  I have heard it said, "A spirit filled man cannot be offended."  Why?  Because we are full of Him, and if we are full of Him, we have to be full of love, forgiveness, grace, etc.  Ahhhh, but what about my feelings?  What about when I am hurt?  Don't my feelings matter at all?

God cares about every little thing.  Every tear, every bumped elbow and scraped knee.  But we have the choice of letting go the things that hold us, such as unforgiveness and hurt feelings.  Sometimes that means going to a person and letting them know how you feel.  Sometimes you just have to hit your knees.  It feels so good just to let it go.

The miracle is joy in Him in a day that goes all wrong. The miracle is standing in awe of abundance as I chop carrots and bathe children and fold laundry. The miracle is a Son sent to die for the very likes of me and His ever-pursuing love for me still. ♥

Keeping our hearts clean is a tough thing, but absolutely necessary.  It's the only way we can hear God, of this I am convinced.  And I believe it's the only way to have a happy heart.

Love,
Christa <3

Peace

We are enveloped in peace when we know that nothing the enemy does can abort the plan of God for our lives.- TD Jakes

Been meditating this morning on peace.  Have read and heard many things about peace, keeping our peace, not allowing anything to take our peace.  I am realizing that for me, what really gives peace is resting in where we are, and blooming where we've been planted.  Obeying the One who I follow and serve, and being me.  


God has great plans for each of us, and we are so easily sidetracked by hurts, disappointments, bumps in the road, etc.  If only we could just remember that there is a bigger picture, and though things will come and people will let us down, hurt our feelings, and not approve of our ways, (efforts of the enemy and weakness of our flesh to take our peace) He has our best interest at heart.  All things work together for our good, if we love Him and are working in our purpose with a pure heart.  


And when we fall short, we can simply ask for grace and forgiveness, and He will pick us up, dust us off and set us back on the path He's chosen for us.  Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. <3  


Love,
Christa  

Father's Day

It's that time of year again...the time where we honor Fathers.  Ever since I was a little girl, this has been difficult for me.  My father was in prison for the majority of my life, and passed away a few years ago while still there.

When the other kids would make father's day crafts for their dad, it was hard.  When other dads would come to my dance recital, but mine couldn't, it was hard.  When my school plays came around, or proms, or graduation, it was hard.  Like someone was missing, because he was.

Don't get me wrong, my dad loved me.  This I know for sure.  The amount of letters he wrote me was ridiculous, I wish I had been smart enough to save them.  In my youth, I believed we had plenty of time.  I was wrong.

He passed away at the federal prison of a massive heart attack.  Just like that, at 50 years old and having the appearance of being healthy, he was gone.  So close to being released, and we were both full of dreams and plans for him spending time with my kids. Spending time with me.

It has taken me time to figure out the purpose in this.  I believe that I have a heavenly Father who has always watched over me, even when my earthly father didn't, couldn't.  My husband is now a regular chaplain in the same prison my dad was in, God has weaved it all together and accomplished great things for His glory.  But it is still hard.

When this time of year comes around, I tend to try and keep myself "busy", but it never fails.  It always hits like a ton of bricks, and I just have to let it out.

I miss what I didn't have, but I am conviced I will see him again.  I will live a life that shows my father honor, and make him proud.  I will cherish the memories I DO have, and be thankful that I had a dad that cared about me with all he had, and loved me the best he knew how.

I will honor my amazing husband, who has shown me what a real man looks like, what a real father AND daddy looks like.

And I will consider myself blessed to know my Jesus, who never leaves and is always listening. <3

Love,
Christa <3

Where is the pause button?

My beautiful babies are growing up.

I keep trying to slow down the clock, but I can't figure out how.

They were just babies 5 minutes ago, right??  

So since I can't find the pause button, I will slow myself down so I don't miss anything.  I will try to be more patient...talk less and listen more...worry less and love more.




  Thankful for this life I've been trusted with.




"Once she stopped rushing through life, she was amazed how much life she had time for."

<3 Christa

My bff :)

A few weeks ago I went on a 10 day trip.  I was home a little over a week, and my husband left for a 10 day trip.  yuck.

We have been married almost 14 years, and have been together for 15 years.  Almost half of the time I've been alive, I have been with him.  My best friend.  My favorite person in the entire world.  The funniest person I've ever known.  My happily ever after.

All couples have the tendency to settle into a routine.  We can't help it, it comes natural.  Familarity creeps in. Daily activities get mundane.  We get into the "Groundhog Day" as I like to call it, like the movie.  Day after day, similar stuff, kids and busyness.  Dealing with ministry issues, life issues, money issues.

As much as I despise being away from him, it is so good for us!  I am pulled away from him every year at this time, and it it terrible and wonderful at the same time.  He is an AMAZING person, and I forget that sometimes.  He is my GIFT, and that is taken for granted when I see him every day.  I forget.  Lord, forgive me for not remembering what a blessing this life is, the ones You've given me to serve.

To have a partner in this crazy life that shares my heart, it is a beautiful thing.  To be able to share my faith in Jesus, to share what He's doing in my heart. To know my purpose, and be encouraged in every area of my life, by someone who believes in my dreams.  And to feel the same way about him.  Grateful, thankful, blessed.

Don't take them for granted...

<3 Christa

What's real?

What's real?  Is tv real? Is the news real?  Are the characters/people real?  Yes and no.

The past few weeks I have been so troubled by these things. When I got back from my trip to Haiti, I could hardly stand looking at the television.  I assumed it was because I hadn't seen one in almost 2 weeks, and just wasn't used to it.  I hardly watched it before I left either, but this was more.  I just kept hearing in my spirit, "it's not real."  I am not saying boycott tv and movies, but I am saying, to think about what you are allowing into your heart, mind and spirit.

My kids thought I was a little crazy when I started saying these things, but I had to tell them, it's not real.  The stuff they make up in the movies and on television is not real.   But we fill ourselves with it, and use the "knowledge" we find on the tv and in a movie and apply it to REAL life.  And we expect it to work!

Nicholas Sparks books, (and I have read lots!) are not real.  The expectations that women have in their heart regarding love aren't real.  A romantic movie isn't real.  Sometimes they are "based off of a true story", which means they took a little thing and dramatized it to make money.  LOL

Maybe this is a rant. Maybe.  But if you're reading this, just ponder it.  What are we letting into ourselves that isn't real?  The eyes ARE the window to the soul, and if you let it in, it's there.  If it's not truth, then it will conflict with the truth in you.  And one will win, the truth or the lie.

My heart is passionate about girls believing in false love.  Oh, the heartache that comes with it.  I remember that heartache. I remember hoping, wishing, even praying.  All in vain.

True love only comes from God, along with the ability to truly love someone.  Real love cost something, and is sacrificial in nature.  Jesus is our example.  Movies are just that...movies.  TV is just that...tv.  Entertainment.  Not real life, but a twisted version of it.

Seek the one that is REAL, and He will put everything else in perspective :)

Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart. Psalm 51: 6

<3 Christa

I did it!

I have been back from Haiti for 10 days now, and am finally getting back into the swing of "normal" life, whatever that is :)   God did so much in my heart during my trip. I met beautiful people, tried new things, saw gorgeous places, and conquered fears that held me down for my whole life.

Being stripped from everything comfortable and predictable, having no one to depend on, to take care of things, to fall back on.   It was a truly humbling experience.  I haven't been on my own in years...if ever.  I am still not sure how I did it, going out of the country for the first time, alone, without speaking the language AT ALL of the country that I am traveling to.  Thinking about it now is laughable :)

I think the greatest thing God did in me during my time in Haiti, was healing in the area of "Daddy."  I have always been insecure in this place.  Needing someone to have my back, to cover me, to take care of me.  It never dawned on me that I didn't need a person for this.  That God, Himself, was with me, watching over me, and had never left me.  Being by myself made me truly consider who and what I placed my trust in.  When no one is around, what do I believe?  My relationship with my Jesus is so much stronger, and has gone to another level.

The beautiful children I met have changed my life.  I will no longer look at a child the same.  The eyes are truly the window to the soul, and I have seen so much beauty in those eyes.  They all have a story to tell, and lots to say.  We could stand to learn a lesson or two from them. The kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

I am proud of myself.  I got close to the edge, and I jumped.  I didn't fall.  I was afraid, I was nervous, but I jumped.  And my Papa was with me every step of the way. :)

<3 Christa

He's been faithful

I can never repay You, Lord, 
for what You've done for me; 
how You loosed my shackles and You set me free, 
how You made a way out of no way, 
turned my darkness into day. 
You've been my joy in the time of sorrow, 
hope for my tomorrow, 
peace in the time of the storm, 
strength when I'm weak and worn. 

(Eddie James, You've Been Faithful)

Had this song on my heart today, and felt led to write what the Lord has been doing in my heart and my life.  About 2 months ago I began to feel the urgency to visit my friend Krista.  She is currently serving as a missionary in Haiti, with a group from San Diego, California.  This has been her dream, and great passion of her heart to go and serve the people of Haiti.  I admired this quality in her, her willingness to follow her dream and not give up, despite facing adversity and difficulty.  I have struggled with fear my whole life, being afraid of just about everything, from heights, to being alone, etc.  I never dreamed I would be able to overcome my fears and do it too.

I told my husband that I felt like I was supposed to go.  He said, "okay, then do it."  Wow.  I said, "you don't have any questions?  You don't have any doubts?"   "Why would I doubt what God is saying to you? " he said.

I am so blessed to have a husband that is a God chaser.  So with that, he reminded me that when he went to Israel last year, I told him I felt like God was going to send me somewhere, and it wouldn't be with him. It would be alone, so that He could build something in me that I depended on Kevin for.  Again, wow.  

So we booked my ticket, and I bought my passport.  I felt in my heart that we should take up an offering at our church, to allow them to give into this effort, and to take some gifts to Krista.  So I put together a small slideshow PPT presentation, and spoke from my heart for about 5 minutes about the work she was doing there.  Someone wrote a check to cover not only my trip, but the items for Krista and her flight to meet me in Port au Prince when I arrived.  WOW. (I didn't even ask for money for my trip, only for Krista. He gives more than I can ask for!)

He really does do more than what we ask or imagine. The warfare I have experienced in this season of my life is unlike any other season.  I have been hit personally, as well as in ministry, back to back to back, with not much time to catch my breath.  But it doesn't matter!  He is doing so much in my heart, that it makes any hit or attack worth the look in His eyes.  He is so faithful when we are chasing Him.  When our hands are clean, and our hearts are pure, He knows.  He sees all.  

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..."   Eph. 3:20

I leave in less than 3 weeks for Haiti! I will update my blog and facebook as I am there and after I return. I am believing for great things. Please keep me in your prayers, as I have never bee overseas at all, or traveled alone.  But I won't be alone. He will be with me. :)

The heart of the matter...

Life can be hard on the heart. The world is full of outside influences that have the power to disrupt the rhythm of your heart. Most are subtle. Some may even appear to be necessary as protection from further disruptions. Over time you may develop habits that slowly erode your heart's sensitivity. The inevitable pain and disappointment of life have caused you to set up walls around your heart. Much of this is understandable. But at the end of the day, there's no way around the truth: Your heart is out of sync with the rhythm it was created to maintain. These disrupters that throw your heart out of sync do not work their way out on their own, without any effort on my part. Thopse things that disrupt the rhythms of the invisible heart linger. If left alone, some linger for a lifetime. After a while, we come to accept these disrupters as part of us, part of our personality. And so we catch ourselves saying, "That's just the way I am." But you weren't always that way.  So let me ask you...how are things with your heart??

- from "Ememies of the Heart" by Andy Stanley

Well...I have 3 books on my reading pile at the moment, and this happens to be one of them.  The title caught my eye, as Proverbs 4:23 is my absolute favorite verse (guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life).  I believe that verse is true with all of my...heart. :)

When I was younger, I dealt with asthma and heart palpitations, irregular heartbeat.  My mom took me the doctor and after tests were ran, they told us that one of the valves in my heart was too long.  Sometimes it got "caught up" and caused an irregular heartbeat, causing shortness of breath.  So I deal with the medical condition, mitral valve prolapse, and a heart murmur.  No big deal, just a little extra precaution.

I started thinking about this when I started reading this book.  The outside influences that we all deal with have the power to affect the inside.  The outside circumstances, conflicts, etc.  create pressure on us, on our hearts.  And what is inside will come out.  What is in us is greater than the pressure on the outside.  Greater is HE.  He is making us stronger, bolder, so that we will show His heart through ours.

When I overdo it, I know it.  I have to sit, rest, take deep breaths, and I feel my heart slip back into rhythm.  It takes a bit, but I am brought back into rhythm.  He is the one that brings us back into rhythm with Him.  Sometimes we must force ourselves to stop...and to sit at His feet, stay a while, get lost in the moment with Him.  He refreshes us, and we can go forward, heart guarded and eyes on Him.

The disappointments won't stop.  The pain won't stop coming.  The enemy will not leave us alone.  But we are stronger, wiser, and guarded.  And moving forward, ready for what's next.

Christa  <3

Just keep swimming...

"We are longing for the glory of the Lord, cause we know there's so much more..."

The beautiful voice of Kim Walker echoes through my house, as my ipod sits on it's speaker dock in our kitchen.  Little does she know, wherever she is, her words are speaking my heart.  

I sometimes daydream.  I daydream that I can run away, just me and my husband, kids and dog. We run away somewhere where it's always warm and sunny. Some place where money never runs out and no one gets upset. Where there's no frustration, no pressure. To a place where we can laugh, and dream, and love, and have no worries.  Nice daydream, huh?  

While I realize this is not realistic, it's nice to daydream.   :)

And yet here we are.  It's easy to take our focus off of where God has us, and think of other things.  There is so much to distract us.  To discourage us.  To take us off course.  So many waves.

Last night we had a date night.  Such a rare thing for us, sad to say.  And somehow, in the midst of our dinner, we had the idea to go get tattoos together.  I'm sure I had nothing to do with the idea.  Ok, maybe I had the idea first. But I did not twist any arms, I assure you.  

I felt led to get an anchor.  I saw a picture of one a while back, with the words, "I refuse to sink."  So I got a small anchor on my foot.  It hurt ALOT, by the way, but I am thankful for my choice, because it will be a great reminder that though things will come my way, and distractions will come, discouragement will come, I will not sink.  He is my anchor, I do not anchor myself.  

Today I was having one of those "moments", where I beat myself up.  And my husband looked at me, and said, "Just keep swimming."  I remembered the anchor, and looked down at my foot.  

And so I suck it up, shake off the dust, say a little prayer, and just keep swimming.

Just keep swimming.  I am gonna do just that.