Ordinary.

I've been thinking and contemplating lately about life.


Just life in general, the ordinary parts in particular.




We have made radical changes to our lives in the past few years. We were pastoring churches full time, immersed in "full time" ministry. We lived mostly in our churchy bubbles, with some interaction with the outside world, but AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT, we mostly stayed inside of our circle.




A few years ago, I started to dread getting up in the morning. I was worn out and tired but I wasn't exactly sure why. I knew there was something down deep that wasn't right, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. 


I'd lay awake many nights feeling it, wondering what it could be.
Ever been there?




On the outside, it all looked fine.  I was healthy and I was feeling like myself again. Living in a new house. Had a handful of true friends. Serving Jesus with my heart and my husband and kids.




Then one day, it was different. It was all gone.  I was healthy, we were together. But the rest was gone and we had to figure out who in the world we were.




We walked away from that life. We said goodbye to that season. We shut the door.  And we walked forward into whatever lied ahead for us, not knowing at all what it would look like on the other side.


Fast forward to today - we work full time jobs outside of the church. We still serve and are leaders at our church that we love dearly, but it is very different for us.




Why I am I saying all of this?  All of the changes, both wanted and unwanted, brought me to this conclusion. 




DON'T MISS THE ORDINARY. 




What does that mean? What is the ordinary?  The ordinary is the moments that are weaved throughout our days. The most mundane are often the most meaningful.  The folding of laundry, the washing of dishes, the making of beds. The late night talks, the after church coffee, the hug from a friend that you so badly needed.




Sometimes we miss the little things waiting on the big things.



The ordinary. The moments that make you say - what did I do to deserve this life?
These are the moments that make you cry the best tears.




Maybe your life doesn't look like you pictured. Maybe it never will.  And you know what? That's ok! Because is DOES look like it's supposed to - the good, the bad, the ugly. 


There is purpose in it. There is beauty in it. 




May God help us to see - really see- our ordinary through His eyes. It is an amazing gift.

People.

I had a conversation with my daughters recently about people. I’m only in my late thirties, but I’ve learned a thing or two...

I had this person come into my life through another friend. I saw red flags. She rubbed me wrong. I told myself I just needed to learn to love better. I tried  - oh how I tried!  I wanted to be wrong. But I was right. She was not a healthy person and it wasn’t a life giving friendship. I learned to let go completely and was better for it.

People, if given a little time, will always show you their true colors.

Trust your intuition. If you feel like you should guard your heart, do it.

Forgive, yes. Absolutely. But forgiveness doesn’t mean letting the person back into your heart. A lot of time it means releasing them and moving on.

And one of my faves. Ask God. If the answer is no,He’s usually quick to respond. If it’s yes, it will come to you soon. Just be patient.

Trust God to bring the right ones. He’s faithful to do it! I promise.

Christa :)

Every time.

Not just one time.  Every time.

"When I thought I lost me, you knew where I left me.
You reintroduced me to your love.
You picked up all my pieces, put me back together.
You are the defender of my heart."  Defender, Rita Springer

Every time - He picks up all the pieces.

He doesn't leave one out.  He uses them all to put me back together.
He knows where we left each one.  Even when we have given them away...

He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Sometimes life breaks us. And sometimes we break ourselves. We choose other things instead of what is good for us.  What is right. We choose empty paths with dead ends instead of the ones He has carved out for us.  Oh, but his ways are so much better.  They aren't always safe, no.  They might be bumpy and unpredictable and uncomfortable. But they are good and full of joy. He promises to always be there. He promises to never leave.

And you know what? He means it. He keeps his promises.  

I can honestly say through all my life, he has always picked up all my pieces and he has always put me back together. Every time.  Faithful and loyal. Every time. 

When I held on to the past for too long, he was there patiently waiting for me to let go.  When my heart was broken and I couldn't lift my head, he was kneeling beside me. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I would grow impatient with such a person, but not Father God. He's forever patient with me as I'm seeking him. Because he knows my heart.

When I am too hard on myself because I think I should be leaps and bounds ahead of where I am.  My father is there and he's cheering me on.  And when the darkness tries to close in on me, with familiar thoughts of the pain of the past, he's there too.

In the moments when I feel like my kids should have better and deserve more. He reminds me that he CHOSE ME to be their mom.  Hand picked. Not because I am perfect...but because he knew I would need them as much as they would need me.

And the times I wish I was stronger and braver. He's there and he tells me if I was, then just maybe I would be decieved into thinking I wouldn't need him.

Every time, He's there.  He always has been, for me and for you.  And he always will be. Because that's what a good Father does. Believe that friend.

Much love,
Christa

No fear in love.

Today my Kevin & I celebrate 19 years being married.

I've been his girl for 20 years this past April.  Honestly I don't  remember my life before being with him.  He's my best friend, my partner, my biggest supporter and encourager.

We had a rocky start.  We met through a mutual friend because I needed a prom date after a bad breakup. We dated a little over a year. Soon pregnant and each still living with our parents, we decided to get married because "it was the right thing to do." We loved each other the best we knew, but we were still kids in alot of ways.  We grew up pretty quickly, and our Brianna came along and changed us forever.

It hasn't always been easy. There have been (and still are) times where I want to punch him.  But for the most part - I see him as one of my greatest gifts.

I used to ask God when I was younger to give me a family of my dreams - with a husband and wife that love each other and stay married forever, and love and support and encourage their children. A close family. A home full of love.

Not perfect, but pretty close.

I believe God answered my prayers.  He gave me Kevin, and then He gave me our 3 arrows. He has given so much to us, I am so thankful.

There have been times when I doubted this dream. Sometimes the people in your life are HARD to love.  Sometimes they don't act like a gift.  But they still are. And is love really love if it doesn't cost you anything?  If it doesn't have any requirements?

Love has to look like something.  Sometimes it looks like knees on the floor, letting go of burdens and giving them to the One who can handle them all. Sometimes it looks like standing still when everything in you wants to run or scream or just plain lose it.Sometimes it looks like holding on to the one that's about to fall apart, lifting them up and reminding them of who they are. Wiping their forehead when they are sick, making them coffee in the mornings.
Sometimes it's speaking up and fighting for what you believe, and sometimes it's laying down and going low.  Not getting the last word.

But it never looks like fear. And it's never controlled by fear. It's not silent, it never runs and hides.

'There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.' 1 John 4:18

Where does this perfect love come from?  Only one place -  from God. We love because He first loved us.

No other love is perfect.  It just won't last.  It won't endure, it will fade. We just can't fully love people without being filled with God's love.  And marriages end every day for many reasons.  But a big reason is that we just give up.

We are living proof that things can be BAD, and God can turn it around. He can pick up the pieces and give you back something better than you ever thought possible. He can restore what has been broken, if you trust Him.

I'm not afraid of love.  I choose to love every day because I have given God all the pieces, and He has been so good. I know I can trust Him, and so can you.

Love,
Christa

Hope.

Hopeless: providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; without hope; despairing; impossible to accomplish, solve or resolve; not able to act, perform or work as desired. 

Hopelessness.  It's a terrible feeling. 

Feeling like there is no reason to hope.  That there's nothing you can do.  
This makes us shrivel up and fold our arms over.  Paralyzes us. Prevents us from reaching out. From showing the world the love that we have been given.  

And here's the thing... it's not true.  

No matter the circumstances. No matter what it looks like physically.  You can always choose to do SOMETHING.  You can always look up.  

There is always hope because of Jesus. Because you are loved. 

Even when your heart is heavy.  When your shoulders feel like they are carrying the weight of the world on them.  When the news is bad and then gets worse. 
Even if you've turned away from God. Rejected Him. Cursed His name. The enemy's tactic is to keep you seperated from Him. 

What can you do?  Look up.  Look to Jesus.  

Oh, I know it's hard.  
I've heard a cancer diagnosis, bad news, and worse news.  I've been unappreciated, left out, and overlooked. I know what's its like to be lonely, gossipped about, and misunderstood.  To lose someone dear to me. 

The common misconception is that we are the "only one". We aren't. We all have our load to carry. It's tough, yes.  But you are tougher. 

When it seems you can't do anything, can't help yourself, let alone anyone else. Look  up. 
Open His word.  Read what it says about you. 

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know he hears us in whatever we ask, we  know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." John 14:18

"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." Psalm 107:9

And I promise you this:  He will come and He will refresh your heart...if you ask Him to.  If you believe. He will remind you that you are brave, and strong, and just plain awesome.  
He will remind you that you are His.  

What CAN you do?  You can look to Jesus, and you can love others. Tighten up your bootstraps and get back in the game. People need the light that you carry.  

On our own, we cannot do a thing. We will tire out and wear down.  People are people, and sometimes (we) they are hard to love.  But they are beautiful too....because he made them.  Let him connect you with his heart, and loving people won't be so tough. And loving yourself becomes easier too.  

I pray that your hope is refreshed today, and that you remember just how loved you are.


Love,
Christa 

Don't be a crappy friend.

You've probably heard the quote - "whatever you are, be a good one."  This was probably thought of and said because sadly, so many humans are so careless. With their lives, actions, relationships.

I've been thinking lately about being a better friend.  I am guilty of getting caught up in busyness, in my own trials, and overwhelmed by it all.

I forget to text, or call or reach out.  I assume everyone is ok and don't take the time to ask.  I make excuses.
Sometimes I'm just a crappy friend.

One of our pastors at The Ramp spoke a few months ago about a trip to the UK.  He said that when you stepped into the subway train a recording reminded you the "mind the gap."  It was dangerous, and you needed to be watchful. You could trip and fall, you could get your bag caught, etc.  From a spiritual standpoint - we all go through times of transition. And when we do, we must mind the gap.

I am minding my gap.  It's not a fun time - yes, God gives us joy in hard times.  I'm not saying every day is horrible. I'm just saying that transition can hurt. Not knowing what is around the corner. Wondering if change will ever come.  And getting bogged down in all the weariness.

Granted - some people need to make an exit from your life during these times.  I have had people I thought were family - really they were not. I have loved them deeply and gave them everything I had to give, and was hurt in the end.  But they needed to GO. 

Some friends are just seasonal.  They have a purpose for being in your life. They teach you and you teach them.  And we are all better off afterwards.

Some friends are heart friends that are forever connected to your life.  They see you at your worst and still love you.  They don't pay attention to the gossip or the lies told. They love you for real, in the good and the bad. Thank God for these.

And I honor all of the relationships God has brought into my life.

So back to the matter at hand - being a better friend.  The Bible talks alot about friendship.

Be careful who you are close with...
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Cor 15:33

There are those the Lord sends to you, that are faithful and true...
Elijah said to Elisha, "Stay here; the Lord has sent me to Bethel." But Elisha said, "As surely as the Lord lives and you live, I will not leave you." So they went down to Bethel. 

Jesus is the perfect model...
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Prov 18:24

Friends should push us higher, not lower...
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Prov 13:20

We need friends who tell us the truth, even when it hurts...
Better is an open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Prov 27:5-6

We need one another...
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Eccl 4:9-10

There are so many more, but I'll end with this.

What if we weren't afraid to be a good friend? What if we took the risk and reached out? What if we were willing to let go of past hurts and forgive those that let us down?  Nothing precious comes without a cost.

God has put the people we need for this season of our life, in our lives, for right now. Don't miss them because you are caught up in old wounds. In busyness. In life.

And if I've been a crappy friend, I'm sorry.  I'm trying to be a better one. Sometimes life hurts. But there is grace for you and for me, grace for today.

Much love friend,
Christa

Detour.

detour - noun

1.

a roundabout or circuitous way or course, especially one used temporarily when the main route is closed.

2.

an indirect or roundabout procedure, path, etc.

In my prayer time today, I heard the Lord say this to me.....

"It's not closed off forever. Right now, you're on a detour." 

Sometimes the way you thought it would look - well, it doesn't. You set out on a journey, excited, optimistic, and a little anxious because there are so many unknowns.  But ready to jump in.

Well, as for me - one who enjoys the predictable and the safe - and one who stays in the shallow end of the water and closes her eyes on roller coaster rides - I didn't feel this way at the start of our journey.  That's not my natural way.

I loved my new husband. I was excited for our little girl to arrive. But I craved safe and comfortable - I wanted to be taken care of - I realize the root of my father not doing these things caused my heart to lack in this area...and I was trying to grow through those things. I loved being a stay at home mom. I loved doing youth ministry.  Amazingly- when God pressed our hearts to pursue ministry full time, meaning Kevin would quit his job and work for the church, my worries just washed away. I jumped in head first, eyes wide open.  A little nervous, but unafraid. 

I chose trust.  It was a miracle in my little life.  And it changed me.

Fast forward to 2016. A year ago, when all of my hopes were shattered.  I had just started going back to school and had to walk away. Ministry closed it's doors to us.  We were discarded.  And we moved to a tiny little town with tear stained pillows and busted dreams.  

We just wanted to be safe.  We still loved God.  And we still trusted Him. But we were hurt deeply, our children were broken hearted and our marriage was in pieces. 

We had all but given up on ever pastoring or serving in ministry again.  We felt like God might just be done with us.  That we had failed Him, and He was ashamed. That we were just too messy. 

Hurt will do that to you.  Shake you and cause you to doubt.

It's an easy trap to fall into. 

But after a long road, healing has come.  Wounds are being mended.  Hearts have begun to believe again.  To dream again. Miracles have happened in our family.  Restoration has come, and He isn't done yet.  

What if God wants to use broken people with imperfect lives to reach his people? To spread hope? What if He isn't mad at me, or you? What if he wants to give back what was lost or stolen, and use the story for His redemption?   He does.

If you are believing for a miracle - don't stop.  If things don't appear to you the way you hoped - keep praying.  Don't give up.

Sometimes you have to take the detour to reach the destination.  While the main road is being repaired - and being made better than it was before. 

Wider, stronger, longer.

Delay is not denial.  It's not the end.  It may just be a new beginning.

<3 Christa