I've been his girl for 20 years this past April. Honestly I don't remember my life before being with him. He's my best friend, my partner, my biggest supporter and encourager.
We had a rocky start. We met through a mutual friend because I needed a prom date after a bad breakup. We dated a little over a year. Soon pregnant and each still living with our parents, we decided to get married because "it was the right thing to do." We loved each other the best we knew, but we were still kids in alot of ways. We grew up pretty quickly, and our Brianna came along and changed us forever.
It hasn't always been easy. There have been (and still are) times where I want to punch him. But for the most part - I see him as one of my greatest gifts.
I used to ask God when I was younger to give me a family of my dreams - with a husband and wife that love each other and stay married forever, and love and support and encourage their children. A close family. A home full of love.
Not perfect, but pretty close.
I believe God answered my prayers. He gave me Kevin, and then He gave me our 3 arrows. He has given so much to us, I am so thankful.
There have been times when I doubted this dream. Sometimes the people in your life are HARD to love. Sometimes they don't act like a gift. But they still are. And is love really love if it doesn't cost you anything? If it doesn't have any requirements?
Love has to look like something. Sometimes it looks like knees on the floor, letting go of burdens and giving them to the One who can handle them all. Sometimes it looks like standing still when everything in you wants to run or scream or just plain lose it.Sometimes it looks like holding on to the one that's about to fall apart, lifting them up and reminding them of who they are. Wiping their forehead when they are sick, making them coffee in the mornings.
Sometimes it's speaking up and fighting for what you believe, and sometimes it's laying down and going low. Not getting the last word.
But it never looks like fear. And it's never controlled by fear. It's not silent, it never runs and hides.
'There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.' 1 John 4:18
Where does this perfect love come from? Only one place - from God. We love because He first loved us.
No other love is perfect. It just won't last. It won't endure, it will fade. We just can't fully love people without being filled with God's love. And marriages end every day for many reasons. But a big reason is that we just give up.
We are living proof that things can be BAD, and God can turn it around. He can pick up the pieces and give you back something better than you ever thought possible. He can restore what has been broken, if you trust Him.
I'm not afraid of love. I choose to love every day because I have given God all the pieces, and He has been so good. I know I can trust Him, and so can you.
Love,
Christa
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