Genesis 3 The Message (MSG)
3 The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: “Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?”
2-3 The Woman said to the serpent, “Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It’s only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, ‘Don’t eat from it; don’t even touch it or you’ll die.’”
4-5 The serpent told the Woman, “You won’t die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you’ll see what’s really going on. You’ll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil.”
6 When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it—she’d know everything!—she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.
7 Immediately the two of them did “see what’s really going on”—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.
8 When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.
9 God called to the Man: “Where are you?”
10 He said, “I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.”
11 God said, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?”
12 The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.”
God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?”
13 “The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.”
God has been doing such a work in my heart.
I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was a year ago. I have an app on my phone called "time hop". It brings up Facebook statuses and Instagram pictures from a year ago or more, and it is such an amazing reminder of the changes my family and I have experienced.
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had such resolve. I felt so brave and I felt the strength to endure. I said - no matter what it looks like, Jesus - I am yours. I will follow and serve you and I will be honored to go through the fire for you. I won't turn my back. Hair or no hair. Sick or not. Healed or not.
No matter what it looks like- oh what determination I felt.
Don't get me wrong here. I am not saying I lost my faith in the process. Actually- my faith is stronger than it has ever been.
The fact is - everyone wants faith. And everyone wants to live by faith...until they HAVE to. Until there is no choice.
There are things about myself I didn't realize. Oh I knew I grew up with extremely low self confidence.
Not wanting to put my hair up because I thought my ears were hideous.
Thinking I was such an ugly duckling.
Let me just say- No one actually told me this. I just believed it.
As a young girl and teenager I believed this about myself - and then I grew up. I became a mother and wife and I met Jesus. And I thought He healed all of those things.
And then chemo took my hair. And my eyelashes. And my eyebrows.
As women - we don't realize how much we rely on these things - to define us. To make us feminine. I sure didn't.
Who told me that I was naked?
Who told me I was ugly again?
Who told me I needed these accessories to make me beautiful? What defines beautiful?
beautiful - 1. having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind. 2. excellent of its kind.
Oh but this isn't what I felt about myself. I surely didn't line up with all of the magazine covers. Or the supermoms. Or the unrealistic expectations of women in the world today.
I barely had the strength to slap my fake eyelashes on. I wanted to be beautiful. But I fell so short in my heart and mind.
Why would I choose to believe this again?
In my time of being sick - my defenses being down - I believed the lie once again. I looked at myself and told myself- you are naked. I agreed with that serpent and ate and found myself saying - you are right about me- and I am once again not enough.
So many of us choose this belief- that we are not beautiful. We forget that our Father is the ultimate artist. That He doesn't make mistakes. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
And that we are not our bodies. We are spirit.
We are not our hair. Or our eyelashes. Or our eyebrows.
Am I glad my hair is growing back? Sure. It is a comfort and a part of me. It allows me to feel normal.
But I realize more than I ever have- I am not my hair, or makeup. I am not my clothing. I am spirit.
And I AM enough because of the One that gave His life for me.
Be encouraged today friends. You are beautiful. And you are loved.
Choose to believe what He says about you - and not the lies.
<3 Christa
