Smile.

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying? 

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying? 

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

(Smile lyrics, Nat King Cole) 

Something I have heard a lot lately is, "you always smile." 

I have tried to make sense of my season. I have tried to still be myself through the tough times. When I felt like staying in bed, I made myself get up and get dressed. There were times the cancer and meds crippled me and I was in tears, unable to go places and events. Missing my kids activities and breaking my heart. 

Smiling is a choice. Joy is a choice. Love is a choice. 

I have put on a happy face and smiled through the tears. Put a scarf or hat on my bald head and a bit of makeup on my pale face. Because what is the alternative? To stay in bed? To give in to the oppression? To let the darkness into my heart? 

No. 

We must choose love and light, choose it every day. Every moment. 

Not because we feel like it. Joy is not a feeling. 

Because He chose us. 

When we didn't choose Him. 

So I choose joy. When I don't feel it. When I'm hurting. Because it's all in our mind. That's where the battlefield is. 

I'm no hero. I have no supernatural abilities apart from Jesus. I simply try to be what He wants. I stumble every day and am thankful for grace and mercy. 

And I choose joy. I choose to smile. 

 "Be surprised by joy, be surprised by the little flower that shows its beauty in the midst of a barren desert." Henri Nouwen 

-Christa