Just a little life eval :)

I’m Christa, wife to Kevin,  mama to three, and honestly, I’m a bit of a mess. It’s okay, really. His grace is the most amazing of all.

I thought after I (barely) graduated high school I'd go to college and be a kindergarten teacher. Run away from my hometown and never look back. 

I married a man who would later become a Pastor instead & chose the straight and narrow instead of the american dream. Stayed closeby and thought I'd never leave...until God said otherwise. 

I had babies. Three beautiful babies. I blinked and they are all growing up...fast. My laundry room is never empty. Neither is my dishwasher. I lose my train of thought and forget things often. I worry. I get anxious. I have to remind myself of His promises daily - and that what I am doing matters... Most days I feel just a tad bit overwhelmed and crazy.

I struggle with believing in myself. The pressure gets to me...often. It's much easier to encourage others and push them forward that to tell yourself the things you need to hear. 

I've been broken and mended and have seen His hand work in my tiny little life. It’s proof that God really does use broken, messed up, and fallible lives anyways. He's so good.

I like to write and to paint and to make things. Especially out of "broken" and "useless" things. It makes me feel closer to the One who created it all... Creativity takes courage.

My favorite thing is to see the smile of a child. To see their little faces light up when they know that you care.

I am seeking to live — and learning to see the sacred in the chaos,   

the Cross in the everyday, the flame in the bush.

I am learning that it is possible - possible to see Him in every detail.  In every smile, in every flower, in every butterfly.  

Possible to forgive and be forgiven. Possible to find kindred hearts and friendships that last and stand the test of time. 

And possible to embrace the new seasons and let go of the past, and chances to take on bitterness, without letting it mark you. To embrace my new identity and walk in the fullness of what He has called me to.  To finish well. 

I am grateful that He cares, and that He is with us always. He keeps His promises.

Looking forward to what is ahead,

<3 Christa

Will you catch me?

Taking a leap of faith is a crazy thing. It requires a moment of craziness I think. Depending on the size of the leap, it may require temporary insanity. Packing up a family of five, selling your home, giving away your pet, leaving a great church and precious family and friends, for what you believe God is saying.

Some stay far from the ledge because they are too afraid. Afraid of failure or disappointment.

Yep, a moment of crazy.

In many ways we are still in transition, even after 8 months. There are many times I must remind myself of His words spoken and the promises He made. The enemy wants to steal, kill and destroy every word and promise God has given. No one is exempt from his schemes. Especially not pastors and leaders.

What will it look like? How much farther? When will we see more fruit? Will the naysayers ever hush? How much longer, Lord?

I must remind myself daily to hold on, even when I don't know how. Like the blind man healed by Jesus. "Go and wash your eyes in the pool..." He had to find his way, even when he couldn't see fully.

It seems so dim, but one day He will make it clear. I believe it.

Do I worry that we will fall? Do I still have times of uncertainty? Doubts and anxiety over the future? Yes, I am human. But I know I have a good daddy who promises to catch me. And who gives us "sweet spots" along the way.

 I remember and I cling to the times God has tested my faith, and He has never abandoned me.

Gotten quiet? Yes. But still there.

Always there.

<3 Christa