Choose wisely.

Sometimes you just don't have words for the feelings in your heart.

You try and come up with something, to do it justice.  But there just doesn't seem to be anything that comes close.

Life can hit you hard sometimes.  Things seemingly come out of nowhere and throw you for a loop.  Leave you trying to catch your breath.

And you are there wondering, "What now?"

There are several options when trauma hits your house.  Choose wisely.

* You can dig a hole and jump in it.

*You can try and pull as many as you can into your offense.  Continuing the pain and attempting to build a group to validate your feelings.  At the same time, hardening your own heart and distancing yourself from God.

*You can turn and curse God.  "Where are you?  Where have you been?  Why didn't you do something?"  "You've never been there anyway."  "You never cared."

*Or - you can fall on your knees.  Know that He is always good. No matter the circumstance or situation.

I choose this one.

The ONLY ONE who has any virtue is Jesus.  The only one that never fails. That never turns away. That never lies.  That never pushes my face into my sins or even remembers them.

The one that helps me forgive.  Helps me choose life.  Helps me move forward. Helps me go through the hard things.

Helps me love. Even those that gossip and accuse and assume.

Jesus.  He's the only one.

He gives me hope, that one day I can stand before him and he will look me in the eyes and recognize me...and He will ask me the question -

"Christa......did you learn to love?"  

And I pray that I will fall down at his feet, and whisper, "Yes. I did."


<3 christa

Heart hugs

Some weeks are just heavy. Busy. Just...a lot. 

Good moments, mixed with hard ones. And a constant tug on our hearts... Will we choose joy? Or will we choose offense? Peace? Or heaviness and anxiety? Guard our hearts? Or let all of it in...

One day at work, I got a text from someone across the miles. I've watched her grow up. Been blessed to be connected at the heart. And walked some hard times with her too. 

I thought about her and typed out a text. Then I deleted it. 

I started thinking..."she has plenty of people to encourage her. She doesn't need your words." 

So I kept going about my day, and let it go. 

That night she was in my dream, we were laughing and at the beach. It was a sweet dream.

The next morning, I got a text from her. 

A sweet, encouraging text. A reminder of times following Jesus together. Thanking me for pouring into her life. And sharing that she dreamed about me too. 

Coincidence? I don't think so. I believe when God connects hearts, they are forever connected. The enemy can do his best to divide. Our humanness can keep us from reaching out. Time can pass and distance can seem far. 

But Jesus loves for us to love one another. He nudges our hearts for one another. 

I needed that heart hug. I didn't realize how badly I needed it until it came. But I needed it. And I'm grateful for Jesus and how he loves us.   Maybe she needed my words too. I'm sad I didn't listen. 

Do you feel Him nudging your heart today? Maybe it doesn't seem rational. Maybe it doesn't make sense. Your mind may try and talk you out of it. 

But consider this... The someone on the other side may be in need of encouragement in a bad way. It could make all the difference. Don't discount the effect of your words. 

Reach out :) 

❤️ Christa 

Facing fear

Today I did something that scared me. I faced a fear I had. I faced the belief that I couldn't do something. 

I realized I had disqualified myself. I believed others could do great things... But could I? 

Last week I went to a women's gathering in Alabama. I was in a room of people that really believed that God could do ANYTHING. It was an atmosphere of dreams. I felt stirred- and felt His encouragement in my heart to pursue a dream I've had. 

Something that will bless and serve others. And glorify Him.

So last night I started. And today I took steps in that direction. 

Not to be mysterious- but things aren't final and I'm still praying for final direction ;) 

But -like Karen Wheaton says-  "what about God???" He is just so faithful. He gives us dreams and He longs for us to abandon our insecurities and walk them out. 

Do you have a dream in your heart? Will you believe for it to happen? Will you face the fear inside? 

The prize is worth the process - I promise:) and Jesus is with you every step. 

He has never lost a battle ❤️ 

We can do the hard things, friend. 

Much love,

Christa  

More than meets the eye

Last week I found the coolest little book. We were downtown shopping in a few antique shops and it caught my eye. I got it because it was small and old and cost $4.00, so why not? 

It turned out to be a book by Andrew Murray about prayer, and it has wrecked me. Thank God I found that little book. 

How many have passed it by? Not given it a second thought? 

There's always more to things than what meets the eye. 

I was asked by someone recently how I continue to love people after they hurt me, or use me. It took be aback - I had really not thought about it before. 

There are many relationships I have had that were one sided, mostly taking and not much giving. It comes with the territory being pastors. Honestly I guess I just conditioned myself - with years in ministry you kinda get used to it. 

Just because I smile and continue to show love- doesn't mean I dont hurt. I have feelings. I have been talked about and judged plenty. It seems to always find its way to my ears, the enemy loves that. 

But I give it to the lord. And if he leads me to confront, I do. But most if the time he leads me to pray for the one that hurt me. Keep silent and pray. When my flesh would do otherwise. 

So humbling. 

I have learned to take things with a grain of salt. People all have opinions and unfortunately we aren't great at showing grace and mercy in abundance toward one another. We are all growing and learning - if any are perfect you should open a school and teach the rest of us ;)

The only way to really love people past your means and to keep your heart open is to love with His love. Abide in Him. There's always enough if you love with His heart. It never runs dry. 

Don't let people cause you to turn your love off. We all fail and we will all fall short. 

Choose love. Like Jesus did. And still does.

Even with the hurt, it's so worth it. 

Christa ❤️

Quiet Time Thoughts

Thinking and praying in my quiet house as daddy is running errands and picking up kids. 

I thank the lord for this rare gift. And repenting for the many times I pass it up to do other things that seem so pressing at the time.

Prayer used to be low on my priority list. We can decieve ourselves into thinking doing is the greater work. But I have learned that you cannot do for Him - without being with Him. 

Sure you can try- run until you're ragged. And then hit your knees. Or just cry out when you're in need. Not really a way to get to know someone's heart- just running to them with grabbing hands. 

Just being with Him- learning the rhythms of His mercy and grace. Adjusting our attitude to His. 

This is when He whispers our new name. Makes us confident in Him. Gives us beauty for our ashes. Takes our shame away. It's such sweet times. 

So many get imbalanced in this- He never intended us to selfishly wallow in His presence - but to soak it in and spread it around. May we never be full and satisfied just keeping it inside. 

Lets leak what we believe. 

Don't have it perfected. But grateful for the journey ❤️

Not the same.

Had some Jesus time tonight. So sweet and so needed. 

He reminded me that with Him, we are always on the move. Always going forward, deeper, growing. Sometimes we forget that. As Christians, there are time we think we are stuck, or we aren't moving fast enough, but He's there. And He's tangible. 

Goodness that's beautiful. That no matter how dark the situation, the light is always there, cause it's always in us. 

Looked back on my Instagram tonight. I am not the same person I was a year ago. A year and a half ago. The journey has changed me. And I am grateful to say it's been for the better. 

Parts of my heart have been awakened. And others have been cut away. It's made me better, not bitter. I've chosen it- it didn't come easily. I fought for it. 

Just want to encourage you friend. If you can't see the light in your situation right now- don't give up. Have hope. Wait on the Lord. He's faithful and He never leaves. 

What seems like forever isn't. This too shall pass- and you'll be all the better for it.

❤️Christa 

Normal.

I'll tell you a secret about me. 

Despite my crazy life of following Jesus and feeling many times like I'm on a wild goose chase. I want normal. I crave routine. The simple life. 

Familiar and comfortable. Predictable and safe. 

Peace and quiet. 

I am learning myself. My ways. 

When I'm overwhelmed I pull away and I just want to drink coffee in my backyard. Away from people and messes and needs. 

When I forget to abide, I get tired. I get irritated with people and junk and phone calls and stuff. 

 So I reconnect. I kneel down at His feet again and my heart is reminded of why I follow such a beautiful King. 

Not because He's always predictable or comfortable. Or even safe.

But because He is worth every tear and extra effort. Every sleepless night and every check written. Every hurt feeling and every wound. 

God wanted us so much that He bought us back- with the blood of His son. We are worth it to Him. And He is worth it to me. 

So I repent for getting off balance and I take a deep breath and I grab His hand. He's so faithful and He never leaves. 

Will I fail at this again? Probably. But I know He will be there to remind me....again. 

It's not that He loves me because of what I do. Or don't do. 

He loves me just because He is love. 

That makes it worth it all. 

Christa ❤️