Goodbye 2016.

2016, you were a hard one. 

I have said that 2014 was my hardest year. Cancer was no fun.

But 2016 takes the prize. 

Hard times and lots of saying goodbye. So much change. Lots of bitter. 

But I remember- There was also sweet...

My beautiful friends visited us all the way from Haiti. 

I received a clear mammogram. 

I attended my first Women's Ramp and was forever changed. 

I had lots of proud mama moments. 

I learned to count my blessings.

My marriage- my family - became my most precious gift to me. A gift worth fighting for.

I embraced a new home. New job. New church.

I realized I'm stronger than I used to believe. That I can walk through the fire. 

I have chosen to let go instead of clinging to a past I can't change. Forgiveness is the key.

I honor the lessons- blocking out the past will not help me learn. 

Most of all- I know who I am. And that I don't need a human to validate me. I have my Fathers approval and love. 

2016 didn't break me, and I'm grateful for the lessons learned. I will use them as fuel for my future. I will fight the fear of being broken again, because I know that will hold me back from pursuing my dreams. 

I will still dream, and I will still believe. 

Here's to 2017. You will be the best one yet. 

❤️Christa 

The hard stuff.

Being a parent is hard. 

I remember being about 15 and in a child development class in school, and thinking, I am NEVER having kids.

It just seemed like too much responsibility. Too much commitment. Sharing my stuff? Going without? No thanks, people. 

Too hard. 

I mean, I wanted my ME time. My money, my space, my life. I wanted to shop for myself. Do what I wanted. Sleep until I wanted. 

Ha! Seems hilarious to think about now. 

Just a selfish teenager with small dreams. That's who I was. God had other plans. 

Here I am, 3 kids later, and like many other parents I could never imagine my life without them. 

Without them taking my money. My space. My time. My heart. 

They made me better. Stronger and wiser. More tender and soft. 

I want so badly to protect them. From the crazy world. From being hurt and let down. But I just can't. I hate that, but sometimes we are just so helpless. We just have to stand by and watch as they go through heartbreak and struggle. 

Here's the thing. We are helpless. As much as we hate to admit it. We are unable to prevent hardship or sickness from coming to ourselves or our children. We can't stand guard 24/7 over their hearts and minds. And we can't force them to make the right choice. 

But we CAN do something. We can pray. 

We can pray and believe. We can stay prayed up and close to Jesus, and when they come to us for guidance or encouragement, we can be ready. Ready to speak life and love. And most of all we can pray they turn to Jesus. Not just for the hard times but for the good times too. 

That might not seem like much, or feel like much. Because we all wish we could do more. But all we can do is our best. And our best is always good enough, no matter how small it might feel. 

❤️Christa