Trust

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

I love my kids.  The process from which they came into this life, carrying them in my belly for 9 months, Kj for 8 :)  (I guess he was just excited to get here)  

The late nights and worries, the first words and steps and falls and teeth and hurts.  

Spending your last dollar, going the extra mile, pushing through when you are ridiculously tired and want nothing more than to lay your head on your pillow.  

Cleaning booboos, calming fears, and wiping away tears from a bad dream.

Last night, I took one to a sleepover, one to a football game, and one on a date with mama.  Trusting that the parents are okay, the home is safe...trusting that my teenager had the ability to make good decisions and not follow the crowd.  

While running all of these directions, my heart was oh so heavy.  I don't like letting go.  I just want to be a mother hen, and gather all my chicks, keeping them just under my wings where I am sure that they are safe.

But if they are under my wings, they aren't able to spread theirs.  Their wings will become useless, and when the day comes that they need to step out they won't know how.  Lord, help me to let go.  I just want to protect, and nurture, and cuddle them.  Every news channel strikes fear into a mother's heart, and makes me wanna pull them close.  

But God has great plans for these little ones, and He trusted me just enough to be their mom.  He gave me a little time with them, to share with them all I know about Him and about life.  And for that I am so thankful.  

So I will try a little harder, and trust a little more.  Because as much as I love them, He loves them all the more.  

"Family is a field to grow in, where children grow up and parents grow patient." 

:) christa

Be you, bravely

He takes me as I am…just as I am…And He takes you just as you are! You are enough.

There are things I have always wanted to do.  But I put them off...I will do them later, when my kids get bigger, when I get out of this mess, when I feel better about myself, when i am older…on and on and on.

He doesn’t want me to wait until I’m ” there”.  Until I’ve arrived!  He's given us all potential. HIS potential. Ahhh... this truth should make us begin today right?

I have begun to share my life more freely. It’s nothing like the movies mind you. BUT I am starting to open up my heart.  I am doing one little thing toward one thing that I’ve always wanted to do.  And you know what? It feels pretty darn good.  And do you know what else? I’ve stopped listening so much to the LIES. This is a choice!  Choosing what we believe is quite powerful.

What about you? 
Is there just one thing you can do starting today to take one step toward making it become a reality tomorrow?  Saying goodbye to fear and worry. 

It feels so good. So free. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus :)

<3 christa

Me

Me.

32 years on this earth.

Heart broken...scarred but mended by a tender
and compassionate Healer

Taught how to love by a precious man who was lost too...
but now we're found and shining our light
for all to see

Mother of three world changers who are free
free from our dysfunctional patterns...
because they ENDED with me

Daughter of a mighty woman...
made of the strongest material
broken yet beautiful <3

And of a man who gave in to temptation
but let me know I was the apple of his eye
I know now that he loved me the best he knew how

But MOST OF ALL...
Daughter of the most HIGH God
faithful and true Papa
promise keeper and head lifter

Learning to trust that His ways are higher
and His path is sure

Letting go of perfection and accepting
my story - within His story
my adventure <3


christa <3

Don't wanna miss a thing

I have come to the realization that I have not yet arrived.  As a matter of fact, I am no where near where I want to be.  I am growing every day, and I am not where I used to be.  But I still have much to do.

I am on a lifelong mission to learn how to love.  Really love, not just in word, not just in deed.  But deeply love, the way Jesus has loved me, and the way He loves us.  Love like that.  I wanna know what that looks like.

I am learning to love my family, my husband and my children.  And as wonderful as that is, as fun as it is for me to leave them little notes, pack their lunches with sweet treats, seek out moments to make them smile and laugh, and creative ways to let them know they're loved, that is good, but it is not enough.  

If I love those who love me back, what have I done?  What reward is there?   Yes it is sweet, and a great blessing, but I believe there is more of a love requirement from Christians.

To love those who cannot, or will not, love me back, some at first, some not ever.  That is something I want to learn.  The ones that spit in my face, talk behind my back, and do not understand what love is.  I want to love those people.  I want to be able to give and get nothing back.

Aren't these the ones who really need love the most? May everything we do be out of love, love for Jesus and love for people.


If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;^[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Cor. 13:1-3

<3 christa

I don't like "Church".

There.  I said it.  I don't like "Church."

I don't like the system.  I don't like the traditional, religious rituals.  I don't like the people that only come because they are looking for something to please theirselves with. The pasted smiles, the generic talk.  The relationships that are only so deep, only deep enough to scratch the surface.  Until they find the next best thing, or until they find a fault or two, then they move on.

Hear my heart - I know that Christ died for the "Church", the people.  I'm talking about the man-made system that is the "Church".  The rules, the ways... our ways that can honestly be so far from His heart.

Without Him, without His heart, it's all pointless.  It means nothing.  Without being in love with JESUS, why even turn up there?  Why even come?  Why minister, why go to meetings?

Oh, but WITH Him.  With Him it all makes sense.  With Him there is no mountain too high, nothing I would not do.

Let us not do anything unless we are in love with Him.  May we be obedient to what He has said - to love one another with a fervent love.

Because lets be honest, it's dead works if it's not done in the right heart.

<3 Christa

Breathe Deep

in an endless cycle of grace, He gives us gifts to serve the world. - Ann Voskamp


I believe that is imperitive in our lives to give to others.  Whether we give our time, our attention, our money, our love;  whatever it is, we must give.  But I also believe it is equally important to reflect.  To sit back and look at our life, where we are and where we are going.  What God has done in us and through us, all around us.  To give thanks and to mark in our hearts the great things He has done.  

The church Kevin and I pastor is a fast moving little thing. :)  I have heard it said from those who attend, that if you miss a week or two, you are left feeling out of sorts, because it moves at such a fast pace.  God has given us vision for our community and for our city, and we do everything we can to fulfill our mission.  We have been covered by His great love, and as the Word tells us, "they who have been forgiven much, love much."  We have no choice but to serve our King, and that translates into taking each opportunity He sends our way to show His heart to others.

Serving in "full time ministry", as it is called, (which all christians should, in my humble opinion, as everything we say and do is ministry) is draining at times.   It is mostly one-sided relationships, with people needing and asking and pulling from you. I must constantly remind myself that if we are connected to Jesus, we never can run dry, because He is never empty;  because He died there is always enough.  But in my fleshly body, I sure can get tired.  Though my spirit is full and content, the kids still whine and argue, the bills still need to be paid, the emails and calls come nonstop, and the refrigerator still must be stocked.  

So I rest in Him today.  I thank Him for His neverending grace.  I thank Him for showing me great and beautiful things that only He can do.  I thank Him for giving me the chance to see through His eyes.  

And I breathe in deep, His grace, that covers and lifts me up and fills every nook and cranny.  Because there is always enough.

<3 Christa

I got some questions...

One of the struggles in this life is the battle within ourselves, the optimist versus the pessismist.  We all have this multiple personality.  The worrier tries to take over from time to time, and choke out the part of us that wants to see the glass as half full, not half empty.  Questions begin to take over our minds in times like these.

Why am I here?  What is going on?  How is this going to happen?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to?  Will this struggle ever leave me?
Do I please Your heart?

I have discovered that when we have a mountaintop experience in our lives, a valley is usually right behind it.  I know this, but sometimes it still takes me off guard.  There I am, on my knees in the valley, and wondering how it happened so quickly, that I was just on the top and here I am again.

God allows these times in our lives, I believe, to shape and mold us. To cut away the things that are dead weight. The things that otherwise, if everything was sparkles and rainbows, we wouldn't see because we wouldn't hit our knees for long enough to see them.  And to see if we've grown from the last time.  To give us perspective.

I don't believe it's wrong to ask God questions.  But I do think it's wrong to doubt Him.  He knows my heart, and knows me deep down.  But I cannot doubt His heart for me, or that He has the best in mind for me.  And I trust Him.  And after my questions, I can rest and be in His love.

These are times when we see ourselves in a mirror, and have a reality check.  Oh, this can hurt, but it can be wonderful at the same time.  We see where we truly stand.  And if we really seek His heart, we will see it.  And will have the courage to keep pressing on.


For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:12-13

<3 Christa