I have come to the realization that I have not yet arrived. As a matter of fact, I am no where near where I want to be. I am growing every day, and I am not where I used to be. But I still have much to do.
I am on a lifelong mission to learn how to love. Really love, not just in word, not just in deed. But deeply love, the way Jesus has loved me, and the way He loves us. Love like that. I wanna know what that looks like.
I am learning to love my family, my husband and my children. And as wonderful as that is, as fun as it is for me to leave them little notes, pack their lunches with sweet treats, seek out moments to make them smile and laugh, and creative ways to let them know they're loved, that is good, but it is not enough.
If I love those who love me back, what have I done? What reward is there? Yes it is sweet, and a great blessing, but I believe there is more of a love requirement from Christians.
To love those who cannot, or will not, love me back, some at first, some not ever. That is something I want to learn. The ones that spit in my face, talk behind my back, and do not understand what love is. I want to love those people. I want to be able to give and get nothing back.
Aren't these the ones who really need love the most? May everything we do be out of love, love for Jesus and love for people.
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Cor. 13:1-3
<3 christa
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
I don't like "Church".
There. I said it. I don't like "Church."
I don't like the system. I don't like the traditional, religious rituals. I don't like the people that only come because they are looking for something to please theirselves with. The pasted smiles, the generic talk. The relationships that are only so deep, only deep enough to scratch the surface. Until they find the next best thing, or until they find a fault or two, then they move on.
Hear my heart - I know that Christ died for the "Church", the people. I'm talking about the man-made system that is the "Church". The rules, the ways... our ways that can honestly be so far from His heart.
Without Him, without His heart, it's all pointless. It means nothing. Without being in love with JESUS, why even turn up there? Why even come? Why minister, why go to meetings?
Oh, but WITH Him. With Him it all makes sense. With Him there is no mountain too high, nothing I would not do.
Let us not do anything unless we are in love with Him. May we be obedient to what He has said - to love one another with a fervent love.
Because lets be honest, it's dead works if it's not done in the right heart.
<3 Christa
I don't like the system. I don't like the traditional, religious rituals. I don't like the people that only come because they are looking for something to please theirselves with. The pasted smiles, the generic talk. The relationships that are only so deep, only deep enough to scratch the surface. Until they find the next best thing, or until they find a fault or two, then they move on.
Hear my heart - I know that Christ died for the "Church", the people. I'm talking about the man-made system that is the "Church". The rules, the ways... our ways that can honestly be so far from His heart.
Without Him, without His heart, it's all pointless. It means nothing. Without being in love with JESUS, why even turn up there? Why even come? Why minister, why go to meetings?
Oh, but WITH Him. With Him it all makes sense. With Him there is no mountain too high, nothing I would not do.
Let us not do anything unless we are in love with Him. May we be obedient to what He has said - to love one another with a fervent love.
Because lets be honest, it's dead works if it's not done in the right heart.
<3 Christa
Friday, August 31, 2012
Breathe Deep
in an endless cycle of grace, He gives us gifts to serve the world. - Ann Voskamp
I believe that is imperitive in our lives to give to others. Whether we give our time, our attention, our money, our love; whatever it is, we must give. But I also believe it is equally important to reflect. To sit back and look at our life, where we are and where we are going. What God has done in us and through us, all around us. To give thanks and to mark in our hearts the great things He has done.
The church Kevin and I pastor is a fast moving little thing. :) I have heard it said from those who attend, that if you miss a week or two, you are left feeling out of sorts, because it moves at such a fast pace. God has given us vision for our community and for our city, and we do everything we can to fulfill our mission. We have been covered by His great love, and as the Word tells us, "they who have been forgiven much, love much." We have no choice but to serve our King, and that translates into taking each opportunity He sends our way to show His heart to others.
Serving in "full time ministry", as it is called, (which all christians should, in my humble opinion, as everything we say and do is ministry) is draining at times. It is mostly one-sided relationships, with people needing and asking and pulling from you. I must constantly remind myself that if we are connected to Jesus, we never can run dry, because He is never empty; because He died there is always enough. But in my fleshly body, I sure can get tired. Though my spirit is full and content, the kids still whine and argue, the bills still need to be paid, the emails and calls come nonstop, and the refrigerator still must be stocked.
So I rest in Him today. I thank Him for His neverending grace. I thank Him for showing me great and beautiful things that only He can do. I thank Him for giving me the chance to see through His eyes.
And I breathe in deep, His grace, that covers and lifts me up and fills every nook and cranny. Because there is always enough.
<3 Christa
I believe that is imperitive in our lives to give to others. Whether we give our time, our attention, our money, our love; whatever it is, we must give. But I also believe it is equally important to reflect. To sit back and look at our life, where we are and where we are going. What God has done in us and through us, all around us. To give thanks and to mark in our hearts the great things He has done.
The church Kevin and I pastor is a fast moving little thing. :) I have heard it said from those who attend, that if you miss a week or two, you are left feeling out of sorts, because it moves at such a fast pace. God has given us vision for our community and for our city, and we do everything we can to fulfill our mission. We have been covered by His great love, and as the Word tells us, "they who have been forgiven much, love much." We have no choice but to serve our King, and that translates into taking each opportunity He sends our way to show His heart to others.
Serving in "full time ministry", as it is called, (which all christians should, in my humble opinion, as everything we say and do is ministry) is draining at times. It is mostly one-sided relationships, with people needing and asking and pulling from you. I must constantly remind myself that if we are connected to Jesus, we never can run dry, because He is never empty; because He died there is always enough. But in my fleshly body, I sure can get tired. Though my spirit is full and content, the kids still whine and argue, the bills still need to be paid, the emails and calls come nonstop, and the refrigerator still must be stocked.
So I rest in Him today. I thank Him for His neverending grace. I thank Him for showing me great and beautiful things that only He can do. I thank Him for giving me the chance to see through His eyes.
And I breathe in deep, His grace, that covers and lifts me up and fills every nook and cranny. Because there is always enough.
<3 Christa
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I got some questions...
One of the struggles in this life is the battle within ourselves, the optimist versus the pessismist. We all have this multiple personality. The worrier tries to take over from time to time, and choke out the part of us that wants to see the glass as half full, not half empty. Questions begin to take over our minds in times like these.
Why am I here? What is going on? How is this going to happen?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to? Will this struggle ever leave me?
Do I please Your heart?
I have discovered that when we have a mountaintop experience in our lives, a valley is usually right behind it. I know this, but sometimes it still takes me off guard. There I am, on my knees in the valley, and wondering how it happened so quickly, that I was just on the top and here I am again.
God allows these times in our lives, I believe, to shape and mold us. To cut away the things that are dead weight. The things that otherwise, if everything was sparkles and rainbows, we wouldn't see because we wouldn't hit our knees for long enough to see them. And to see if we've grown from the last time. To give us perspective.
I don't believe it's wrong to ask God questions. But I do think it's wrong to doubt Him. He knows my heart, and knows me deep down. But I cannot doubt His heart for me, or that He has the best in mind for me. And I trust Him. And after my questions, I can rest and be in His love.
These are times when we see ourselves in a mirror, and have a reality check. Oh, this can hurt, but it can be wonderful at the same time. We see where we truly stand. And if we really seek His heart, we will see it. And will have the courage to keep pressing on.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:12-13
<3 Christa
Why am I here? What is going on? How is this going to happen?
Am I doing what I'm supposed to? Will this struggle ever leave me?
Do I please Your heart?
I have discovered that when we have a mountaintop experience in our lives, a valley is usually right behind it. I know this, but sometimes it still takes me off guard. There I am, on my knees in the valley, and wondering how it happened so quickly, that I was just on the top and here I am again.
God allows these times in our lives, I believe, to shape and mold us. To cut away the things that are dead weight. The things that otherwise, if everything was sparkles and rainbows, we wouldn't see because we wouldn't hit our knees for long enough to see them. And to see if we've grown from the last time. To give us perspective.
I don't believe it's wrong to ask God questions. But I do think it's wrong to doubt Him. He knows my heart, and knows me deep down. But I cannot doubt His heart for me, or that He has the best in mind for me. And I trust Him. And after my questions, I can rest and be in His love.
These are times when we see ourselves in a mirror, and have a reality check. Oh, this can hurt, but it can be wonderful at the same time. We see where we truly stand. And if we really seek His heart, we will see it. And will have the courage to keep pressing on.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:12-13
<3 Christa
Friday, July 20, 2012
Vacation
I thought I posted this last week...oops. :)
Vacation....such a sweet word!! It ranks up there with "chocolate", "cake", "pie", wait, those are all foods. LOL
Our family just returned from our yearly trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And it was wonderful!
The kids played for hours in the ocean and sand, we were all kissed by the sun and ocean breeze, and we ate lots of food. Sat around and laughed together, put together a 1000 piece puzzle, stayed up late and watched fireworks. Sweet times.
I share this to say, love the ones God has trusted you with. Not just live with them, but LOVE them. They are so precious, and though they may be just a tad annoying at times, one day they won't be little. One day they won't ask you to help tie their shoes. One day they won't ask you to unclog the toilet. ;) One day they won't ask you to make them a waffle, or get their splinter out. One day they won't need you that way.
Oh, and take a vacation!! Even a small one. You deserve it :)
With a thankful heart,
Christa <3
Vacation....such a sweet word!! It ranks up there with "chocolate", "cake", "pie", wait, those are all foods. LOL
Our family just returned from our yearly trip to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And it was wonderful!
The kids played for hours in the ocean and sand, we were all kissed by the sun and ocean breeze, and we ate lots of food. Sat around and laughed together, put together a 1000 piece puzzle, stayed up late and watched fireworks. Sweet times.
I share this to say, love the ones God has trusted you with. Not just live with them, but LOVE them. They are so precious, and though they may be just a tad annoying at times, one day they won't be little. One day they won't ask you to help tie their shoes. One day they won't ask you to unclog the toilet. ;) One day they won't ask you to make them a waffle, or get their splinter out. One day they won't need you that way.
Oh, and take a vacation!! Even a small one. You deserve it :)
With a thankful heart,
Christa <3
Thursday, July 19, 2012
A happy heart makes the face cheerful
What makes a happy heart?
A nice car? A full checking account? Well behaved kids? Well, these things are nice. And they would relieve a bit of stress, sure. :) But a "happy" heart goes much deeper than this.
Lately I have been dealing with my "feelings." Everybody has them, and many of us blame others for them. But they are "our" feelings, no one elses.
Sometimes things happen and people will hurt our feelings. Not intentionally, not on purpose, not meaning to, whatever. But it happens. And we are left with our feelings. We are responsible to deal with them. I have heard it said, "A spirit filled man cannot be offended." Why? Because we are full of Him, and if we are full of Him, we have to be full of love, forgiveness, grace, etc. Ahhhh, but what about my feelings? What about when I am hurt? Don't my feelings matter at all?
God cares about every little thing. Every tear, every bumped elbow and scraped knee. But we have the choice of letting go the things that hold us, such as unforgiveness and hurt feelings. Sometimes that means going to a person and letting them know how you feel. Sometimes you just have to hit your knees. It feels so good just to let it go.
Keeping our hearts clean is a tough thing, but absolutely necessary. It's the only way we can hear God, of this I am convinced. And I believe it's the only way to have a happy heart.
Love,
Christa <3
A nice car? A full checking account? Well behaved kids? Well, these things are nice. And they would relieve a bit of stress, sure. :) But a "happy" heart goes much deeper than this.
Lately I have been dealing with my "feelings." Everybody has them, and many of us blame others for them. But they are "our" feelings, no one elses.
Sometimes things happen and people will hurt our feelings. Not intentionally, not on purpose, not meaning to, whatever. But it happens. And we are left with our feelings. We are responsible to deal with them. I have heard it said, "A spirit filled man cannot be offended." Why? Because we are full of Him, and if we are full of Him, we have to be full of love, forgiveness, grace, etc. Ahhhh, but what about my feelings? What about when I am hurt? Don't my feelings matter at all?
God cares about every little thing. Every tear, every bumped elbow and scraped knee. But we have the choice of letting go the things that hold us, such as unforgiveness and hurt feelings. Sometimes that means going to a person and letting them know how you feel. Sometimes you just have to hit your knees. It feels so good just to let it go.
The miracle is joy in Him in a day that goes all wrong. The miracle is standing in awe of abundance as I chop carrots and bathe children and fold laundry. The miracle is a Son sent to die for the very likes of me and His ever-pursuing love for me still. ♥
Keeping our hearts clean is a tough thing, but absolutely necessary. It's the only way we can hear God, of this I am convinced. And I believe it's the only way to have a happy heart.
Love,
Christa <3
Friday, July 6, 2012
Peace
We are enveloped in peace when we know that nothing the enemy does can abort the plan of God for our lives.- TD Jakes
Been meditating this morning on peace. Have read and heard many things about peace, keeping our peace, not allowing anything to take our peace. I am realizing that for me, what really gives peace is resting in where we are, and blooming where we've been planted. Obeying the One who I follow and serve, and being me.
God has great plans for each of us, and we are so easily sidetracked by hurts, disappointments, bumps in the road, etc. If only we could just remember that there is a bigger picture, and though things will come and people will let us down, hurt our feelings, and not approve of our ways, (efforts of the enemy and weakness of our flesh to take our peace) He has our best interest at heart. All things work together for our good, if we love Him and are working in our purpose with a pure heart.
And when we fall short, we can simply ask for grace and forgiveness, and He will pick us up, dust us off and set us back on the path He's chosen for us. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. <3
Love,
Christa
Been meditating this morning on peace. Have read and heard many things about peace, keeping our peace, not allowing anything to take our peace. I am realizing that for me, what really gives peace is resting in where we are, and blooming where we've been planted. Obeying the One who I follow and serve, and being me.
God has great plans for each of us, and we are so easily sidetracked by hurts, disappointments, bumps in the road, etc. If only we could just remember that there is a bigger picture, and though things will come and people will let us down, hurt our feelings, and not approve of our ways, (efforts of the enemy and weakness of our flesh to take our peace) He has our best interest at heart. All things work together for our good, if we love Him and are working in our purpose with a pure heart.
And when we fall short, we can simply ask for grace and forgiveness, and He will pick us up, dust us off and set us back on the path He's chosen for us. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. <3
Love,
Christa
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