Community

A few nights ago, Kevin and I were sitting on our swing in the front yard. One of my favorite things is to drink coffee and sit with my sweetheart and talk about life and Jesus and watch the sun go down. 

We were sitting for a bit when we noticed a beautiful bird in a tree. It had a yellow belly and I hadn't remembered seeing one before. We googled it and found it was in the finch family. It had a nest in the tree. 

It began squawking and making different noises from its branch.  It wasn't long before we noticed a cat walking down the sidewalk towards us. The bird got louder. 

Then it happened- other birds joined the bird in the tree. They, too, began making noise, warning the cat to stay away. The cat must not have been very concerned... It flopped down on the sidewalk. The birds continued to come from different directions, still making noise. 

They had heard the cries for help and came to the birds aid. 

Another yellow bellied bird suddenly came and pecked that cat on the head. The cat got up and decided to leave. 

I was so moved by this. Thinking about these birds made me think about Christians. 

The birds were different types. The yellow belly birds may have been the parents - but those that came to help at the sound of need- they were all different colors and sizes. How powerful. 

So many times we like to stay in our area. Our comfort zone. What feels safe to us. 

What if we got over ourselves? Our fears? Our junk? And reached out? 

Realized that we are all His? We are ALL sinners in need of unfailing love? What if? 

What would we look like? 

Community. Family. Love. 

Love has to look like something. I want my love to look like His. 

Not like me- because human love has limits and boundaries and conditions. Human love is based off of feelings. It comes and it goes. 

But His love- it has no bounds. No rules. It breaks down walls and it seeps through the cracks and it never lets go. 

I pray that all that's going on around us is a great challenge to our hearts... To grow in our love. First in our love for God, then in our love for others. Not just those that love us back. Or those that agree with every belief we have. 

But those that might not even like you. Or agree with you. Those that have been through hell and have walls up. Those that are hopeless. Those that have never known real love. So they turned to false refuges because the pain is great and the place they are in are so dark. 

We can't hide in our closets and wait for Jesus to return. Yes- we need to hit our knees- so that He can change our hearts and make us like Him. 

Hit our knees- and then get up. And go be love. 

Let us grow in love. It's the only answer. 

Christa ❤️

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. (1 John 3:18-20 MSG)

You're worth it.

Many are aware of my journey the past year. Overcoming cancer and getting my self back. It has been scary, and hard, and enlightening, and beautiful. 

I learned a lot about me. 

For starters. I don't like superficial. I refuse to be someone I'm not. God made me to be ME- and He's pretty happy. I'm far from perfect and I mess up all the time. 

All that matters is that I please Him at the end of every day. I so want that. 

Second. I'm trying to step up my health game. Getting lung cancer after you've smoked for 40 years is terrible- but predictable. If you've contributed to killing your body- it's not a shocker when it wears out faster than if you didn't. Why do we hurt ourselves? We eat junk and feel awful. Why?

I want to do my best with what I've been given. I believe that just like we will answer for all we have or have not done for Him, we will also answer for our bodies he gave us. I'm committed to doing better. I'm back in the gym regularly. I walk a lot more. I choose grilled chicken instead of pizza. Sometimes :) 

I take better care of myself. 

This includes my nightly non negotiable bubble bath. No matter what. ;) 

And third- there are honestly so many other things but maybe another day- I want to be a good friend. I have struggled trusting people in the past, and honestly I still do at times. People are something else. Smile in your face and cut you down when you turn away. Pretend we aren't mad or offended and lack courage to be honest about it. Force a happy face. We are all guilty. 

But I don't want to do it for the return. Because they will do the same. 

I want to love others better because He's watching. I want to make His heart smile. 

I know I'll miss the mark, sure. I'm selfish and thoughtless and forgetful. I hate that. 

But...

I want to do better. Be better. Why? 

Because I'm worth it. And you are too. 

Choose better - choose the hard thing. Go the extra mile. It's not crowded. 

You can do it friend. 

❤️Christa 

You've got this.

Hey you.

Yep, you.

The one that feels like giving up.

The one that feels like quitting.

That barely could get out of bed and get dressed and tie your shoes and put on a happy face.

You.

You are pretty stinking awesome.  

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

There is no one like you, and no one more qualified to be you. There are lives that only you can touch and words that only you can speak and a road only you can walk.

There's an enemy out there that knows this - knows it even more that you and I know it.

An enemy that laughs when you give in and high fives himself when you break.

Because he already knows the thing that we need reminding of.

This - If you don't quit - you win. 

The battle is raging - yes. But the war has been won.

We still have this walk to walk - fight this fight - this battle is not against flesh and blood. It's bigger than that...

But guess what?

You are stronger than you think - than you feel most days - there's more to you than what you see in the mirror.

You are one tough cookie.

Think of what you've survived - what you've walked through.  You are still HERE and you haven't dropped off and you haven't given in.

He has made you strong - remember this.

You are important - and you are needed.

You are a gift.

So don't fall apart.  Hold it together.  Dig those heels in. Keep on keeping on.

Because you can do it.  I believe in you.

But more importantly - He does.

Just a little encouragement for your beautiful heart today.

<3 Christa



If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn't much to you in the first place.
Proverbs 24:10 msg

Forward

A little late for a New Years post maybe. But here goes anyway :) 

I told myself I wasn't doing that whole "word of the year" thing. But I kept hearing the same word as I reflected over 2014 and all of its glory (I say that with much sarcasm) and so I have a word. 

Simple but not. It's such a process. You can't heal from cancer quickly. Oh I expected the physical stuff. But I didn't think it would take me so long to get energy and strength back, but I knew it would be tough. I have really been frustrated with the pace of my progress- ugh. 

And the emotional part- goodness. Such a roller coaster. Up down and in between. Not helped by meds either. 

Let me be clear, I'm not whining. I'm just speaking out. I'm a firm believer in being real, open and honest. 

We are always expected to have it together. Be on time. Say the right things. Remember stuff. Act right. Dress cute. Have all the answers. Whatever. 

And you know what? No one has it all together! We ALL fall short and we all lose our temper and we all miss it. It happens and it is LIFE and we aren't pathetic for failing. 

We are BRAVE for trying. 

So I'm gonna breathe and relax and focus on healing. Day by day. And be patient with ME. Because I'm worth it. 

And so are you friend. 

Give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack. You're perfectly imperfect. 

Your best is always good enough, no matter how small it seems at times. 

And you're doing just fine. :) 

Christa <3

Humble pie.

Humble pie. Every had some? It's bitter. And sweet. 

Sometimes we walk around like we own the place. Our confidence is pretty high, we're feeling pretty good. And BOOM. We are knocked off our high horse and reminded of how human we really are.

Ouch - it hurts. Sometimes physically, but mostly it hurts our pride.  And sometimes it can even break your heart.

This morning I was taking cards out to the mailbox. The sprinklers had been left on. And the temp this morning was a whopping 14 degrees. So the sidewalk was ice.

Yep. I fell. Flat on my back. Luckily with no one around... but thank goodness I didn't pass out or was seriously hurt, because I would have laid there alone for who knows how long.

I got up and picked up all the mail that went flying - and granny walked to the mailbox and back- through the crispy frozen grass :)

I'm a little sore. But I'm alive and well.

I believe things like this happen to the best of us - physically falling as well as stumbling and making mistakes.  Finding out things that take your breath away.  Hearing gossip about another - or about yourself- true or not.

These things happen- not because God doesn't care. He DOES care - even about my dumb little fall.

He cares about our mistakes and our shortcomings and our guilt and our shame and He cares when we are mistreated. But most of all- He cares about our hearts.

Our response to these hits are what really matters. 

Choose to be humble? Choose to grow?  Choose to check our hearts and change for the better?  Become a little more like our Daddy God?

Or not. It's a choice.

And I believe He allows things - people even- to be present in our life to keep us on our toes and on our knees.

To keep us humble. 

To keep us dependent.

I believe that God DOES give us more than we can handle.  So that we are unable to do this thing called life on our own.  To make us realize we are really and truly in need of a Saviour.

So I'm just gonna keep on eating my humble pie.

Because if it keeps me close to Him and makes me look a little more like Him- it's worth it. 

Much love friends,
Christa

The most beautiful girl in the world

Well, unless you were lucky enough to miss it- you probably heard / saw / read about a certain female choice to bare her body to the world recently. 

This is nothing new. You can find nude pictures anywhere. Nothing is sacred to people anymore. 

My heart has been so heavy- for the young women that will look at things like this and buy into the lie that they have to be a certain way- look or act a certain way- or they just aren't "enough." 

I fell into this trap- for all of my teenage years and some of my adult years. Thinking I had to perform for love. Pretend and copy and compare. 

Comparison really is the theif of joy. And it will eat away at your soul. 

There is one that looks at you and to Him there is absolutely no comparison. 

He gave his life for you

He fought for you 

He bled for you 

He prays for you 

He sings bad rejoices over you 

He numbers the hairs on your head 

He sees you 

He counts your tears 

He hears your every word 

Don't sell yourself short. You aren't cheap or easy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and there is only one you. And your heart is worth being guarded. 

You are not your body or hair or clothing. You are more. You are precious. 

And let me tell you something... 

You are the most beautiful girl in the world- yes you- and don't you forget it. 

❤️Christa 

Who told you that you were naked?

Genesis 3 The Message (MSG)

3 The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: “Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?”

2-3 The Woman said to the serpent, “Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It’s only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, ‘Don’t eat from it; don’t even touch it or you’ll die.’”

4-5 The serpent told the Woman, “You won’t die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you’ll see what’s really going on. You’ll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil.”

6 When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it—she’d know everything!—she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.

7 Immediately the two of them did “see what’s really going on”—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.

8 When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.

9 God called to the Man: “Where are you?”

10 He said, “I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.”

11 God said, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?”

12 The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.”

God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?”

13 “The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.”

God has been doing such a work in my heart.  

I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was a year ago.  I have an app on my phone called "time hop". It brings up Facebook statuses and Instagram pictures from a year ago or more, and it is such an amazing reminder of the changes my family and I have experienced. 

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had such resolve.  I felt so brave and I felt the strength to endure.  I said - no matter what it looks like, Jesus - I am yours. I will follow and serve you and I will be honored to go through the fire for you.  I won't turn my back. Hair or no hair. Sick or not. Healed or not. 

No matter what it looks like- oh what determination I felt.  

Don't get me wrong here.  I am not saying I lost my faith in the process. Actually- my faith is stronger than it has ever been.  

The fact is - everyone wants faith. And everyone wants to live by faith...until they HAVE to.  Until there is no choice. 

There are things about myself I didn't realize.  Oh I knew I grew up with extremely low self confidence. 

Not wanting to put my hair up because I thought my ears were hideous. 

Thinking I was such an ugly duckling. 

Let me just say- No one actually told me this. I just believed it. 

As a young girl and teenager I believed this about myself - and then I grew up.  I became a mother and wife and I met Jesus.  And I thought He healed all of those things. 

And then chemo took my hair. And my eyelashes. And my eyebrows. 

As women - we don't realize how much we rely on these things - to define us. To make us feminine. I sure didn't.  

Who told me that I was naked? 

Who told me I was ugly again? 

Who told me I needed these accessories to make me beautiful?  What defines beautiful? 

beautiful - 1. having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind. 2. excellent of its kind.

Oh but this isn't what I felt about myself. I surely didn't line up with all of the magazine covers. Or the supermoms. Or the unrealistic expectations of women in the world today.
I barely had the strength to slap my fake eyelashes on. I wanted to be beautiful. But I fell so short in my heart and mind.

Why would I choose to believe this again? 

In my time of being sick - my defenses being down - I believed the lie once again.  I looked at myself and told myself- you are naked. I agreed with that serpent and ate and found myself saying - you are right about me- and I am once again not enough. 

So many of us choose this belief- that we are not beautiful. We forget that our Father is the ultimate artist. That He doesn't make mistakes. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

And that we are not our bodies. We are spirit.  

We are not our hair. Or our eyelashes. Or our eyebrows. 

Am I glad my hair is growing back? Sure. It is a comfort and a part of me. It allows me to feel normal. 

But I realize more than I ever have- I am not my hair, or makeup. I am not my clothing. I am spirit. 

And I AM enough because of the One that gave His life for me. 

Be encouraged today friends. You are beautiful. And you are loved.

Choose to believe what He says about you - and not the lies. 

<3 Christa